I love the Golden Globes.....

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The Golden Globes, everyone agrees, is just more fun than any of the other awards shows. It's not stuffy, and has decent categories with semi-sane selections and winners. And everyone on the show gets to drink! This, I think, is the key that really makes it special.

So here's what we do in the Funker household at Golden Globe time. I get to sit with my 15 year old daughter, and my wife, and we just brutally slice and dice on everyone who appears. Even mo' better, with TIVO, we can freeze frame any particularly nasty fashion faux pas and spend extra time bringing the appropriate smack-downs. For instance, we spent a good 5 minutes with Cameron Diaz. I mean, what the hell was that? A white prom dress that would get you immediately kicked off of Project Runway, hidiously matched with the vampire lestat red lipstick. My God. And let's not forget the mousy brown hair. Well actually, lets. This woman barely held it together when she was working the "dumb blonds have more fun" look. Now? I'm talking total disaster. No wonder Justin Timberlake kicked her to the curb. In fact, what was he seeing in her in the first place. Speaking of Mr. Timberlake, how does this former manufactured boy band member, Britney Spears and Cameron Diaz dating, pasty white boy have any street cred what-so-ever? It boggles the mind.

Other TIVO stopping moments that spring to mind;

Is Will Ferrell doing a new movie as Richard Simmons? Nice hair-do.

My, my....serious grandma cleavage for Helen Mirren.

Every one of the skinny anorexic stars, who look like toothpicks with 2 waterballons attached, should study Salma Hayek. That is how a real woman is put together.

Leonardo DiCaprio is finally looking his age. Which may start making some of his movies believable, unlike "Titanic, the love story of a 12 year old".

Philip Berk is a very strange man, who should not be allowed on TV.

Maria Menounos is obviously an idiot.

Tim Allen wins the "Joe Namath" award for too many cocktails before a TV appearance.

Keith sums it up......

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Keith Olberman gives us a nice little reminder of our fearless leader's plans and ideas. When you stack them all up on top of one another it really hits home. This guy is flailing and failing on a grand scale;

President Bush makes no secret of his distaste for looking backward, for assessing past results.

But in our third story on the Countdown tonight… too bad.

Any meaningful assessment of the president's next step in Iraq must consider his steps and missteps so far.

So, let's look at the record:

Before Mr. Bush was elected, he said he was no nation-builder; nation-building was wrong for America.

Now, he says it is vital for America.

He said he would never put U.S. troops under foreign control. Today, U.S. troops observe Iraqi restrictions.

He told us about WMDs. Mobile labs. Secret sources. Aluminum tubing. Yellow-cake.

He has told us the war is necessary…Because Saddam was a threat; Because of 9/11; Osama bin Laden; al Qaeda; Because of terrorism in general; To liberate Iraq; To spread freedom; To spread democracy; To keep the oil out of the hands of terrorist-controlled states; Because this was a guy who tried to kill his dad.

In pushing for and prosecuting this war, he passed on chances to get Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, Muqtada al-Sadr, Osama bin Laden.

He sent in fewer troops than recommended. He disbanded the Iraqi Army, and "de-Baathified" the government. He short-changed Iraqi training.

He did not plan for widespread looting, nor the explosion of sectarian violence.

He sent in troops without life-saving equipment.

Gave jobs to foreign contractors, not the Iraqis.

Staffed U-S positions there, based on partisanship, not professionalism.

We learned that "America had prevailed", "Mission Accomplished", the resistance was in its "last throes".

He has said more troops were not necessary, and more troops are necessary, and that it's up to the generals, and removed some of the generals who said more troops would be necessary.

He told us of turning points: The fall of Baghdad, the death of Uday and Qusay, the capture of Saddam, a provisional government,the trial of Saddam, a charter, a constitution, an Iraqi government, ¤elections, purple fingers, a new government, the death of Saddam.

We would be greeted as liberators, with flowers.

As they stood up–we would stand down, we would stay the course, we were never 'stay the course',

The enemy was al Qaeda, was foreigners, terrorists, Baathists.

The war would pay for itself, it would cost 1-point-7 billion dollars, 100 billion, 400 billion, half a trillion dollars.

And after all of that, today it is his credibility versus that of generals, diplomats, allies, Republicans, Democrats, the Iraq Study Group, past presidents, voters last November, and the majority of the American people.

Happy New Year......a little late

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Welcome to 2007. Where your Uncle Funker promises to post more interesting things (hopefully not all political rants, although that's some pretty low hanging fruit out there) and generally be a better blogger.

I spent New Year's Eve in downtown SF playing a gig right off of Union Square. What a zoo. I usually just stay at the pad and hit bed about 12:01 most New Year's eves. But it was fun to hang with the partying amateurs. Just proves I need to get out a little more often.